Thursday, January 17, 2008

Sunglasses in a nightclub

If you wear sunglasses in a nightclub, you are a retarded idiot - male or female - and deserve compulsory sterilisation to prevent future generations being afflicted with your stupidity.

Nightclubs are dark. Sunglasses make things darker. So by logic you should be blind when you wear sunglasses in a nightclub. Which would explain some of their behaviour, come to think about it.

Then there's male patron dancing - it's so spasmodic I wonder whether to laugh or administer an insulin shot in case they're actually having a seizure as opposed to dancing like they are.

I was stuck on one of the main dancefloors for the first part of the night. Patrons were irritating me through their existence, so I managed to swap out to a position outside the club. In fact it was opposite the road to the club. Which suited me fine. Many other bouncers hate not being inside and contracting gods know what from the patrons by proxy.
It was a VERY hot night so I was more than happy to sit in the fresh air getting paid the same rate as the people inside sweating themselves thin.

The only incident that happened was a group of three backpackers walked past when I was doing the important mental calculation of whether to have a kebab or go home after shift. One of them decided to yell 'BOO' at me because he thought it was a fun thing to do. I was just about to make up my mind so was not impressed and yelled at him. They couldn't understand why I was yelling at them, and tried to cross the road into the club. I radioed up that they were disorderely and disrepectful to security staff, so they were refused entry. They can say what they like, but we can still ruin their night!


Blogger NICK COULDRY said...

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Nick Couldry

7:29 AM  
Blogger JB said...

Your article is read like it was writen by a 5 years' old angry kid.
"retarded idiot wear sunglasses"?
is that your strong opening sentence?
(i guess you never took English 101 in college)
haha, and besides, who are you to judge people?
find a real job dude! one the u can use your brain!

9:31 AM  
Blogger MAR SCR said...

This is rubbish things done by anyone. Security Officers need to out these type of rubbish things.

12:12 AM  
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5:30 PM  

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