What some people will try with ID and doors.

Our policy on the doors, for the casino or anywhere else, is:

1. ONLY a valid Australian Driver's License, valid passport or valid State Proof of Age Card will be accepted.
2. There are no exceptions to Rule 1.

I don't care if the photo clearly resembles you in every conceivable manner. If it's not valid ID, you won't be coming on, and there really isn't much scope for debate or discussion on the matter. It's both managerial policy and, in many cases, the law, and I am in no position to voluntarily afford discretion at all.

If you're male, it doesn't matter how much you try and intimidate me. If you're female, it doesn't matter how attractive you are or how low cut your top is. Arguing your case, bribing me, threatening me or promising sexual favours will not influence or dissuade me from doing my job, and you'll simply further reinforce my decision not to let you in. . Trying to charge the door or attacking me doesn't work either, because I simply call for backup, physically restrain you using reasonable force, which is directly proportionate to your efforts and methods you use in your attempt to assault or get past me, and you'll not only be refused entry tonight, but for perpetuity. So it's really not worth it. I've seen it all before, and whatever you've got is nothing new!

Even if you do get past me or injure me, do you really think we'll just let you saunter into the club, buy some drinks and start dancing? You'll be found and dragged out, very quickly and very publicly, to face the police, criminal charges and a conviction. It's not worth it for something as minor as being knocked back and trying to save face.

It's also immaterial that you are out for a works do, xxth birthday, wedding, anniversary, awards night or stamp club outing. To me, you're all 'patrons', the only discriminating factors being whether you meet the dress standards, whether you're sober enough to let in and whether you're ID is sufficient or not.

So far, I've had:

People presenting me with passports or other ID that are three years expired. They then complain when I don't accept them.

People with international driving licenses, who then protest that because the license is valid in their country, we should accept it as valid ID here. There's a big sign outside all our doors that indicate otherwise. For some reason, people accept written information as more authoritative than the same information conveyed verbally.

Those with expired ID that are out by a couple of weeks. No, I'm not prepared to afford discretion and let you in, because to do so would not incentivise you to renew your licence like you damn well should do. The date of expiry is clearly printed on the ID and in the accompanying counterpart, so there's no excuse that you're 'only just realised' that it was expired!

Idiots who, with duplicate IDs, try and blag their mates in by giving them the duplicate to present to me 30 seconds after they've shown me the original one. Do they really think I'm not switched on enough to recognise it, or at least get a sense of Deja Vu?

Patrons presenting ID cards in which they've 'altered', usually through scratching, their dates of birth, so 1988 looks like 1986. Running my thumb over the printed numbers on a card, as I normally do, quickly reveals this, and they usually have little defence, other than 'oh, it got scratched'. Pretty bloody convenient place for the scratching to occur, especially in a very isolated manner.

People who flash the ID card at me as they try and hurry past. I can think of nothing else more likely to arouse my suspicions. Stop, come back and let's look at that properly. Ah, yes, you're a male and you've presented me with your older sister's ID card. Thankyou and goodnight.

The 'do you know who I am' people, who attempt to name drop or imply status, reputation and/or repercussions in an attempt to persuade me to change my decision. I know who you are, you are a person who is not geting in. Who do I think I am? I think I'm the person who is not letting you in. I have status as well, insofar as I have status as an agent of the licencee and thus responsible for enforcing legislation and policy in regards to admittance and responsible service of alcohol. I have influence derived from said status, and the repercussions of me not letting you in are that you have to go somewhere else. Oh, and don't worry, I know people too. They wear blue and are part of the biggest gang in the world. I'll call on them to assist me if need be, likewise you would your 'mates' who subsequently fail to appear.

Any more 'types'?