Funniest drunk I've ever seen...

...was on Sunday night, before the Melbourne Cup but worthy of a post all of his own!

I was on the door of one of the casino entrances, when this drunk stumbled up, oblivious to our presence, and wondered over to the nearby pub, trying to get in, and rattling the door handles when he realised it was closed. My shouts of "Hey mate, you can't get in there at this hour" were ignored and he instead started talking to the life size statue of the person the pub is named after, located outside the doors! Clearly, the statue had more useful knowledge to impart than I.

The guy wondered up to us, and the conversation went like this:

Drunk Dude: "I'm looking for the back. Where's the back?"
Me: "What back?"
DD: "My mum and cousin said they're at the back and I should meet them there. Where is it?"
Me: "Where's what?"
DD: "The back?"
Me: "The back of what and where exactly?"
DD: "The back of the back?"
Me (giving up): "It's behind the front."
DD: "Thankyou!" *wanders off*

Mr. Intoxico then wondered over to an ATM, spent about five minutes trying to work out how to press the buttons, drew out $200 and stuck it straight into the bin next to it! My colleague and I were nearly doubled up with laughter by now, which was only worsened when the guy stared angrily at the bin and shouted "WHY HAVE YOU STOLEN MY MONEY!?" at it.

The fun wore off when he nearly fell over his own feet down an escalator, and we had to get colleagues to show him the whole 'one foot in front of the other' concept towards the door!