"Why is the bar closed at this ridiculous hour anyway?"

This was the exclamation directed at me from a pissed attendee of a function in one of our larger hotel function rooms last night after I thwarted his plan to fix himself a tipple at the hotel's expense. It arose as a result of about 150 people stumbling out of an event held in one of the function rooms to find the main lobby bar closed. Some took it better than others.

The event had been going, quite loudly, for about four hours, with the last two hours consisting of entertainment provided by a live band, who were quite good as far as cover bands go. The attendees, a mixture of ages, were quite drunk and enjoying themselves. This is fine, and certainly something we don't want to discourage. But when the function finished at 12, we didn't want the clear desire of the revellers to continue enjoy themselves conflicting with the reasonable expectation of hotel guests to get a good night's sleep in rooms they'd forked out a fair bit of money for. Since the downstairs bar closed early (even though it was licensed till 2am), that left the main lobby bar as the only source of alcohol in the hotel, apart from the guest room minibars (but who in their right mind would pay for the extortinately-priced alcohol in those?) The noise would carry, guests would complain and we'd lose money. So, after chatting with the duty manager, the decision was made to close the main lobby bar at half midnight, just before the attendees started coming out. Since most guests were asleep in their beds and there were only one or two stragglers left behind, this wasn't too much of a problem for those already in the bar.

Most left the function room and went straight out to get a taxi, whilst those staying in the hotel staggered upstairs. Some, however, were determined to get a drink. When I told them that all hotel bars were closed, and pointed them in the direction of the city's (lacklustre) nightspots, most of them decided to call it a night. One idiot, however, decided to march behind the unmanned and insecure main lobby bar and start trying to open the locked cupboards! Incredulous at this guy's blatant idiocy, I yelled at him to get the bloody hell out from behind the bar. Indignant that I had the audacity to stop him from pouring a drink of his choice, he shot a look at me and opined "Why is the bar closed at this ridiculous hour anyway?"

I quietly pointed out that at one o clock in the morning, most main lobby bars in hotels in the city would be closed, he was drunk so we wouldn't have served him anyway, and that he'd be best off getting a drink elsewhere if he felt so inclined. I couldn't resist adding, under my breath, that ideally that 'somewhere' would be several miles from the hotel. Unhappy that we were more concerned about our guests than pissed up hotel visitors, he left.

Dealing with hotel guests who are drunk is a bit easier than dealing with drunk visitors, because at least with hotel guests they can be threatened with eviction from their rooms and/or extra charges being put on to cover any damage they may cause, assuming they don't heed our warnings or requests. Visitors, however, are difficult, because they aren't staying at the hotel and thus don't feel any particular sense of obligation towards us to behave properly. So a bit of skillful communication, and occasionally verbal coercion, is required instead. If nothing else, it's amusing to listen to their self-believing justifications for their behaviour or situation, which make no sense to anyone who's drunk less than five pints of beer.